The Psychic Shorts Nuzlocke Challenge, Part 3: Hail to the King

Today was a somber day as I learned the harshest lesson that the Nuzlocke Challenge teaches to everyone who dares to attempt it: No Pokemon is truly immortal. Those who take the challenge are initially frightened by the rules and what they entail, but you soon adjust to the rules and find that the game is not as intimidating as it seemed. Past experiences give you an edge so you find ways to overcome death, occasionally cheat it, and even come up with plans to summon it for the sake of your own personal gain. You gamble with lives but eventually have your perceived godhood stripped away as you put the wrong ones in the line of fire.

Wait, what was I talking about?

For the most part, the march to remove all traces of Team Rocket from the Silph Co. building in Saffron City went over about as well as expected. My team was at least ten levels higher than most of the Grunts' Pokemon and I knew the layout well enough to keep from getting too overwhelmed. I even defeated Asshat during our fifth battle with only three Pokemon and Giovanni are arguably even easier since I only needed two against him.

Unfortunately, the harshest blow came from the lone Rocket guarding the Boss. His Level 32 Cubone managed to survive G-G-Ghost's Mega Drain and knocked the Haunter out with a single Bone Club while I was at full health. So not only do I worry about the horrible implications of Rocket Grunts using Cubones as cannon fodder (Stockholm syndrome?) but also wonder how a Ghost Pokemon can truly take part in a Nuzlocke Challenge if it is already dead...

Keanu Reeves is similarly perplexed

Once G-G-Ghost was released and the Silph Co's Lapras was acquired, what I am now calling the PC Shuffle began as YouFatFuck the Snorlax was brought in to fill in the void as I went to the Saffron Gym to face Sabrina's Psychic types. While my lack of a truly strong Physical hitter did make me wonder what would happen, the Marsh Badge was successfully obtained without too much difficulty. Unfortunately, I overestimated YouFatFuck's abilities as it was killed by Sabrina's Mr. Mime, thus ending the obesity jokes before they even had a chance to truly begin...

From there, I decided to retrace my steps and went to explore the Power Plant by Cerulean City before I made my way back to Fuchsia City. A Leaf Stone was used to evolve Weed into a Vileplume and Lucky the Chansey was taken out of the PC though its attacks are still too weak to do more than occasionally Sing at random things. The Power Plant was somewhat risky due to the dangers of Lucky's bait and switch policy but Roid Rage and King's high defenses were able to withstand the renegade Voltorbs' Self Destruct attacks and a Magneton was captured and nicknamed Miracles for some unknown reason.

I'll just leave this here

But the battle against Zapdos proved to be an eerie parallel to the trek through Mt. Moon as King's defenses were not enough to protect it from a second Drill Peck maneuver, leaving Sparkles to defeat the legendary bird with a couple Thunderbolts. Unfortunately, no Moon Stone could be used to save it this time and the mighty Nidoking was laid to rest once I made my way back to Fuchsia City.

Choosing to end this installment right before my journey through the sea to the Seafoam and Cinnabar Islands, I am now left to wonder how the rest of this quest will go. This is normally the part of the game where even the Gym Leaders are too easy and I rest on my laurels as I prepare for the Elite Four, but the losses I have suffered lead me to believe that the days of a simple balancing act are over. On the bright side, Koopa, Sparkles, Weed, and Roid Rage will be strong enough to rely on and there will plenty of neat catches for me to choose from in the next few areas. Just remember that life is fragile and death is a cruel creature that can be turned against you right when you think you have tamed it.

Also, your rival's an orphan. Gotta catch 'em all!

Current Lineup:
Koopa the Blastoise, Level 41
Weed the Vileplume, Level 40
Roid Rage the Machoke, Level 40
Sparkles the Jolteon, Level 40
Lucky the Chansey, Level 28

The Fallen:
Charles the Zubat, Level 17
Madame the Butterfree, Level 24
Cheater the Kadabra, Level 24
G-G-Ghost the Haunter, Level 38
YouFatFuck the Snorlax, Level 30
King the Nidoking, Level 40

On Reserve:
FourChan the Hitmonchan, Level 30
Scramble the Exeggutor, Level 25
Lapras the Lapras, Level 15 (Sorry, forgot to name it)
Miracles the Magneton, Level 32